How to Grieve a Tragedy
by:
Stephen Bucaro
Bad things happen to good people. Have you lost your job or are facing
bankruptcy? Has a cherished relationship ended or you have gone through
a divorce? Maybe you received diagnosis of a serious health problem. Or
maybe you are mourning the loss of a loved one. Unfortunately, these
painful events are part of life.
If you have to endure such a tragedy, maybe you can find solace in your
friends and in your faith. There is no way to completely avoid the pain
of a tragic event, but I offer you a way to work through the pain. If a
friend or loved one is grieving, you can pass this message on to them.
Your should deal with the grief in three phases. You should carry on
each phase for exactly 21 days before moving on to the next phase. Why
21 days? Because studies have shown that if an individual does the same
thing for 21 consecutive days, it becomes a habit. That is the amount
of time required to make a permanent life change.
Phase 1: Don't think about the event that is causing your grief. You
may be forced to think about it in some way in order to take care of
business related to the event. But otherwise don't think about it for
the first 21 days. If the event comes to mind, think to yourself "I
don't want to think about this right now", and dismiss the thought from
your mind.
Every time the tragic event enters your mind, think "I don't want to
think about this right now", and force yourself to think about
something else. Usually friends and family will not be a problem
because they will avoid bringing up the subject. For the first 21 days,
keep pushing thoughts of the event out of your mind.
Eventually you will need to mourn, it's unavoidable. In Phase 2, you
should think of nothing but the tragic event. How can this help? Even
though you forcefully prevented the event from entering your conscious
thoughts for the first 21 days, your subconscious mind was grieving.
Now you need to deal with it on a conscious level.
You will be able to grieve with less pain now because your subconscious
mind has already dealt with it. You can't put the tragedy behind you
unless you deal with it on a conscious level. For the next 21 days,
force yourself to focus on the tragic event.
If the tragedy is a broken relationship, think about the life you could
have had if things worked out the way you dreamed. If the tragedy is
the death of a loved one, think about the moments of your lives
together. Focus entirely on how much that individual meant to you.
Phase 3: It's time to move forward. For the next 21 days, think only of
your future life and changes you will need to make. Plan your new life.
What changes do you need to make to carry on under your new
circumstances?
Unfortunately, painful events are part of life. Bad things happen, but
life moves on. My plan doesn't let you totally avoid the grief of a
tragedy, and not letting yourself grieve would not be healthy anyway. I
promise you, no matter what the loss, in the end, the human spirit will
always survive.
Permission is granted for the below article to forward, reprint,
distribute, use for ezine, newsletter, website, offer as free bonus or
part of a product for sale as long as no changes are made and the
byline, copyright, and the resource box below is included.
|
About The Author
Copyright(C)2002 Bucaro TecHelp. To learn how to
maintain your computer
and use it more effectively to design a Web site and make money on the
Web visit http://bucarotechelp.com
To subscribe to Bucaro TecHelp
Newsletter Send a blank email to subscribe@bucarotechelp.com
|
